I am so irritated over this nonsense campaign launched by Girl Scouts and Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook. The idea is to ban the use of the word bossy to describe an assertive girl. Are these people serious or just incredibly stupid? Personally, I fear it is both.
I don’t have daughters but I have nieces, nephews, and cousins who are still in the school system. This blog post is dedicated to them and the unborn children we weren’t blessed to have.
The whole idea that banning a word will create confident, self-assured women is utter nonsense. It is by over-coming adversity and finding inner strength that any human, male or female, grows and matures. It is by encountering bullies and finding solutions on their own that children learn how to solve problems, build teams, and deal with success and failure.
Banning the use a word isn’t feminist, it doesn’t empower. It demeans. By the very existence of the campaign, Sandberg, Girl Scouts, and all those celebrities that jumped on the bandwagon are stating that young women are incapable of overcoming adversity and need to be sheltered and protected from the other half of humanity because they might get their delicate feelings hurt. Utter nonsense. You know what happens when you get your feelings hurt? You cry about it, and then one of two things happen. You either choose to get over it and move on from the experience; or you are so upset that you collapse and are not functional.
When I was growing up, you got over it and learned from the experience. You learned the lesson and you matured. Sheltering children from life’s hurts leads to situations of immature adults who have never faced an adverse situation. If everyone gets a trophy and no one gets their feelings hurt, how do we expect children to learn and grow from adverse experiences?
We have become a society intent on emasculating men and elevating women. It makes no sense and to be honest, it is an affront to the feminist movement. Feminism was founded on the ideals of equality between the sexes. What it is evolved into, is the emasculation of men of all ages and women, who are even more bitchy and self-righteous than the early days of the feminist movement. What happened? Where did the ideal of equality go?
Parents if you want to raise strong, caring, assertive, mature, independent children then stop sheltering them from every little hurt feeing that might come their way. Teach them that when they get bullied they need to make new friends and get over the hurt. If they lose a game or sit on the bench, it isn’t the end of world. If they aren’t the prettiest or most athletic, the world isn’t going to end. Teach them, that true strength and maturity comes from adversity and learning from tears and hurt feelings. Teach them, that warming the bench and being a good teammate is just as important as being the “star”. Teach them that true beauty comes from the inside and has nothing to do with the size of your waist, boobs, or looks. Teach them that compassion and patience is far more rewarding than empty trophies and instant gratification. Teach them that some children rough house, some are athletic, and some are domestically inclined.
There is nothing wrong with little boys who play cops and robbers or tag on the school playground. There is nothing wrong with little girls that want to play dolls and house. Those are natural human behavior patterns that have existed for thousands of years. Do fools like Sheryl Sandberg, Brad Meltzer, and Beyoncé honestly believe that banning the use of the word “bossy” will change that? Instead, these parents should teach their children that life is filled with adversity and that only by overcoming adversity do people rise to the top.
History is filled with strong women who overcame adversity in much more difficult situations and I bet plenty of them were also called “bossy”. Let’s name a few: Joan of Arc, Amelia Earhart, Queen Elizabeth I, Marie Curie, Mother Theresa, and those are just the ones that immediately pop into my head.
To the younger members of my family, I love you and I am proud of all of you. So, pursue your dreams on your terms. If that is to stay home and raise a family, you have my full support. If you want to be a firefighter, you have my full support. If you want to explore the stars, then buckle down and study and you have my full support. Remember, sticks and stones break bones but words can only hurt if you (and YOU ALONE) give them the power to hurt you long term.